The Decathlon 007 “The Bond Girls”
Report by Spidey
I’m on the early morning coach from Wales to London. Its decathlon time again. The Decathlon what is that all about? Well it is like the decathlon in track and field athletics where athletes do 10 disciplines over two consecutive days. My decathlons involve wrestling 10 of MWM’s top athletes over a two day period. This is my seventh decathlon event and it is the first one that the MWM team captain Nina Foxx is unable to attend. So the MWM captain for today is Lolita. Nina Foxx will certainly be missed this weekend. She is an outstanding team captain and I look forward to many more Decathlon events where she is leading the MWM warrior ladies into battle. The theme for this decathlon event is “The Bond Girls” and because this is my 7th Decathlon we called it The Decathlon 007. All of the decathlon events have different themes and occasionally the format changes as well. This time, I looked at the potential members of the MWM team and there were 16 different athletes who would make great members of the team so there were some very difficult choices even with Nina Foxx and a couple of others on the list not being available. In the end I could not get the list down to 10 and so I decided that two of the 12 selected athletes would session with me a week earlier; last weekend. Cam made all of the arrangements and it turned out that Nikkitta and Skye were the two athletes who competed on the last Saturday of November. So let’s start with those reports while I travel.
Nikkitta 4-0 Spidey
I’ve just got back from a great day at MWM in London where I did the first two sessions of The Decathlon 007 “The Bond Girls”. My first match was with Nikkitta who whooped me 4-0.
She was fit, strong and powerful and took her points well. I defended as well as I could but never really had any opportunities to pin her down or gain a submission. The first point was a neck hold where I could feel it on the side of my neck and really had to tap out as she was on top of me keeping me under control.
The second point was a lethal body scissors that I felt squeezing my insides out. She has amazingly powerful legs. Nikkitta got my back for the third point and pulled me into her guard and then applied a rear naked choke that I had to tap out to while admiring the new lights Cam has installed in the studio.
The final point was a head scissors while she also had my right arm stretched out across her body. She leaned back pressurising my arm and squeezed the head scissors home. I put up a bit of a struggle in each round but it was pretty much one way traffic once the first point had been conceded. I did managed my beetle defence to avoid Nikkitta’s grapevine on a couple of occasions and my trusty half guard spider defence saved me quite a bit and kept the score down.
Nikkitta was talking not stop to wind me up, she is really good at commentating and wrestling at the same time – classic Nikkitta. After that Cam, Nikkitta and I had lunch in the pub round the corner; chicken wings and potatoes. I met Alfie the Cat who seems to run the pub – he certainly gave me a look letting me know I was on his territory. Had a great chat with Cam and Nikkitta about the big decathlon event next week and plans for 2017. Then it was back to the studio to get ready for my second opponent.
Skye 1-2 Spidey That is not a typo – I actually won this match!
Skye arrived, looking stunning, the first time I have seen her since Christmas 2014 when she was a member of the Christmas Decathlon team. It was so great to see her again and have a catch up as we warmed up. She was wearing black leather pants and a leather bra with metal studs in so I decided to avoid her breast smother! Soon we were locked into a great tussle rolling back and forth on the mats. She was wresting with a smile on her face but also with determination. The banter during the match was excellent and she accused me of trying to put her off – well there are no rules against me doing that lol. I managed to get Skye in a grapevine and she tapped early on, I did not feel I had fully applied it, but a point is a point. I went straight into defensive mode after that as Skye threw everything at me looking for head scissors, neck holds and sitting on me to try and pin me down. There was plenty of in close grappling but whenever we broke off, it was Skye who was doing the acrobatic backwards rolls to be in position to re-engage first. Music videos were playing with some of my favourites popping up on screen – every time I said “oooh I love this song” Skye was laughing. I rolled on top and straddled her, pinning her arms by the side of her head for the second point. I held her there for a count of 10 and was in a 2-0 lead. Skye got a point with 10 minutes to go – a difficult one to describe – here goes. She was sitting on me and worked up my chest to put the head scissors on. I sat up as the head scissors went on and she fell backwards. As she did, she reached out to either side and pushed my legs wide apart so I could really feel it in my groin and hamstrings and really had to tap – all this while my head was still trapped between her legs! I managed to get the full mount right at the end and was about to count out the pin, but time ran out and the match ended 2-1 to me.
This was my first ever win at MWM after four and a half years of trying. I gave Skye a big hug because it was a very enjoyable tussle. Cam gave me a high five, she’s not too unhappy that I have finally taken a win at MWM. It was well worth the long trip from Wales, in fact I would be back next week for 10 more Decathlon 007 matches! Bug thanks to Cam, Nikkitta and Skye for a wonderful day. And that is where we pick the story up – well that is my excuse from switching from past tense to present tense halfway through the report!!
Lolita 3-0 Spidey
Its been a good journey down from Wales and I slept on the coach, cup of coffee at Victoria and now I’m at King’s Cross waiting at the top of the escalator for Lolita to arrive, I know she needs to change here for the Piccadilly Line. Its just like that scene from Cruel Intentions when Ryan Phillippe is waiting for Reese Witherspoon at Penn Station and she has no idea he is going to be there. Sure enough, Lolita appears, walking towards me, she has not noticed yet, now she sees me, puzzled, she suddenly realises yes she does recognise me;
“Spidey!” She gives me a hug “that was a nice bit of timing or were you waiting?”
“I’ve been here about 10 minutes, I figured you would be changing lines at this station”
Chatting as the escalator takes us down to the platform, plenty of free seats on the train, we sit down, catching up, Caledonian Road, lift up, through the barriers and walking up to MWM for an 0830 session, Lolita comments “I don’t think I’ve ever had a match this early before”
“I may have had one or two early starts on the continent where there have lots of matches to get through in one weekend, I’d have to check”
Cam opens the door of the studio, big smile, greeting us both, it’s Decathlon Weekend. Cam is very experienced at setting up these events now, this is number seven; The Decathlon 007. Lolita and I are changed, posing for photos James Bond style, tweeting to the masses tuning in from near and far. Stretching, we’re ready, let’s do this! On our knees, Lolita smiling with enthusiasm and determination, keen to lock up. A good start, she has not managed to get my neck as she usually does at the start of Round 1! She is on top as I am desperately trying to get my half guard on. She is working hard and thinking hard but not breathing too heavy, she is so fit. Trying to pace myself, a few jokes to distract her, she bursts out laughing losing concentration and collapsing down on top of me. Feels good being able to make my opponents laugh. She is soon refocussing and I’m in trouble as she applied the grapevine. Her ankles hooking inside mine, pulling my legs apart, I’m holding on but the pain is in my ankles, holding on, trying to turn the ankles or something, I’m stuck and the pain is only getting worse, tapping out. It is 1-0 to Lolita.
We are having some water. Back on the mats, re-engaging, just about avoiding the guillotine, Lolita’s arms coming under my chin from above as I bend down. Keeping her hands apart, I’m soon down into a turtle defence, Lolita laughing at the predicament I am in, trying to keep my limbs tucked in so she cannot isolate any of them. My neck is wound in as well so she cannot try a camel clutch. Time to get up and I need to do so in a way where she does not get my back. Tussling on the mats, back and forth, in between the columns. Lolita has me in her guard. I’m just managing to keep her from scissoring my ribs, keeping her legs on my pelvis, trying to disconnect her ankles with my hands. Turning towards her feet, she tries a head scissors from behind, I am keeping her legs apart, a knee in between her legs to help keep them apart and I’ve escaped. A little light headed, but still only 1-0 down. Lolita is not tiring and forces me back onto my back. I’m looking up as she gets me in position for a school girl pin. Struggling to escape, she is reaching behind my neck with her hands and rolling onto her side, the head scissors is on, she squeezes and smiles as she sees my head changing colour knowing she’s got me. I tap. 2-0 to Lolita.
We’re now deep into the third round, coming up to the end of the match, Lolita has me on my back again. She isolates my neck, lying perpendicular to me, rotating on the mats to keep my legs from capturing her body. With each quarter turn, her grip on my neck tightens …. and tightens …. and tightens, I have to tap and it is a 3-0 win for Lolita. A big hug at the end of the match, thanking her for fitting me in, incredible we have now had 20 matches! A few more photos and so much to talk about. Cam and Lolita have a chat while I am showering, feels so good the MWM shower. Freshened up, bye bye to Lolita as Cam takes her back to the station.
Here we are in the café, I’m on the full English breakfast, everything except baked beans. This is the life, three slices of toast and a big mug of coffee with it. Cam has poached eggs on brown toast with her tea. All the café owners on the street know Cam, she has settled into the area really well. Good neighbours. A few more tweets, happy with how I did against Lolita.
Samurai 7-0 Spidey
I’m figuring Cam will throw Trouble and Dominix at me early to soften me up for the other MWM ladies. But I’m surprised to see that opponent number two arriving at the studio is Samurai! Looking stunning as ever, she is in great shape, she is toned, and looking strong in her shoulders. Catching up on everything, I’m changing downstairs while Samurai uses the bathroom to change. Down the stairs she comes, stretching, warming up, chatting away, looking forward to the battle. A few snap shots. The battle begins.
Samurai, smiling with gritted teeth, determined to get me, I’m on the defensive and trying to conserve energy and pace the decathlon, keeping her hands apart as she goes for a guillotine. Samurai’s feet appear from behind my head, she is trying a head scissors from behind, I am keeping her legs apart, methodical use of my arms to work my way clear and pull away from her, turning round, facing her, ready to re-engage. Samurai is relentless and keeps the pressure up knowing that she will soon get she break she needs, she is too fast, gets my head between her thighs, quad muscles bulging as she applies the head scissors, I’m feeling ok, but she tells me I’ve turned purple, ok I tap out. 1-0 to Samurai.
Round 2, thrilling encounter trying to avoid submitting to Samurai. She is in form today and she is not going to be denied. Fast and lethal, she is onto me attempting a kimoura, only my strength is keeping her from completing the move. More guillotine attempts and I am in rear guard action, delaying rather than preventing a submission at some point. Flat on my front and Samurai has my right arm out straight for a straight arm lock. Tapping. 2-0 to Samurai.
Two more head scissors and I am 4-0 down but I am sensing that Samurai is tiring, I’m looking for moves to tire her out to maybe get a pin late on, she fights the fatigue as well as me. I can’t fault Samurai’s determination, 4-0 up and she still wants more points. Fast leg work and she has me in a triangle, working my arm in towards my own neck, seeing on the triangle, oh yes, she’s perfected the move. I tap out. 5-0 to Samurai.
Round 6 has been a long one, I’ve defended well, frustrating Samurai and trying to tire her out and use up her energy. She puts on another triangle, I push into it, pushing through, Samurai adjusting where she is lying to try and tighten the grip, but I push through, loosen her grip and work my way out, ecstasy at escaping her triangle, perhaps I should be focussing on wrestling rather than celebrating the escape. Perhaps. She has got me in yet another head scissors, squeezes home, punishing my arrogance. 6-0 to Samurai.
Time for one more round, we high five and lock up. She is fast, re-energised knowing this is the final exchange, a much quicker round, I avoid her Americana attempt, locking my arms, but she soon makes the transition into the arm bar, pulling my arm across her right thigh, the elbow is on the far side of her thigh, that is bad news for me as she works on the joint with her whole body. I tap – final score 7-0 to Samurai. Congratulating her, thanking each other for the match.
Frida 7-0 Spidey
It is revolving door time at MWM as Samurai leaves, Johnny Massive arrives, Frida arrives …. she has three matches today starting with me! Frida is in brown hair as opposed to her traditional blonde. Smiling away, such a lovely girl, catching up with Johnny, Cam and I. I’m changed and ready to go having showered after the Samurai match. Photos taken. Frida is tanned and looking powerful, maybe I am shrinking but she seems to be a little taller every time I meet her. This first round is quite competitive, not a lot of talking as we each try hard. I’d love to hold out 0-0 in this match. No such luck as I am stuck in Frida’s head scissors. Tapping out. 1-0 down already.
Round 2 and Frida gets into her singing wrestler routine, taunting me with her own lyrics to the Spiderman theme tune “Spidermouth! Narcissist! Spidermouth loves himself! …..”
I can’t help laughing at Frida’s song. It’s the perfect reaction to me beating my chest King Kong style and flexing my arms, kissing the biceps. She’s taking the piss well and proper! I’m stuck in a grapevine but have turned sideways, like mid stride running but pressed down hard against the mats. Frida has her ankles hooked in and my positioning has made it worse rather than better. Wincing. I have to tap. 2-0 to Frida.
I’m in trouble again, she is kicking my ass and keeps calling me “darling” when asking how I am going to escape or if I am ready to tap. I’m being dominated! A body scissors from behind, powerful, feeling it, I tap out. 3-0 to Frida.
I think after only two and a half matches my wrists are feeling it where my opponents have grabbed me, mainly the hairs may have been pulled out, at the moment it feels like a Chinese arm burn move every time Frida take hold of my wrist. I don’t tell her, I don’t want her to know how effective it is. I’m flat on my back and Frida puts on a more orthodox grapevine. Really hurting the lower legs. I am tapping out again. 4-0 down. This is a bit one sided.
I am defending well in the fifth. Hedgehog defence, dead beetle defence, escaping an Americana, I’m happy with how I am doing, but there is more Chinese arm burn treatment, ouch. She gets my back and as she uses her legs for control, her heel just misses my nuts! She works the legs up and is putting on a head scissors from behind. It’s time to tap out again. 5-0 to Frida.
Frida is complaining that she cannot see through her brown hair as it is draped down in front of her as she is in full mount position. I have a chuckle, I did not know having brown hair made that much difference to being blonde. What excuses will my opponents thing of next. Avoiding an arm bar attempt, I roll into it and connect my arms, keeping the trapped arm bent, up on my knees, pulling clear, that was good work. Frida is forcing me over again and it is a third grapevine that gets me. 6-0.
There’s not going to be a consolation point for me today. Frida has my leg trapped between her two legs. Not a thigh scissors. It is something else. She gets my foot with her feet. I cannot see what she is doing but I can feel it. My toe is in agony. I have to tap. The match ends. A comprehensive 7-0 win for Frida. I’m not sure how she did in her second match but she beat Johnny Massive 2-0! I decide to have a big meal later and take a pear juice and a cup of coffee before my last two matches of Day 1. This is the life, El Classico on in the café.
Lolly 1-0 Spidey
It has turned dark outside as I head back to MWM after some other sessions have ended. My opponent for match 4 is Lolly a new athlete at MWM. She has two sessions today starting with this decathlon match. Warming up. I know she has been training with Sparkle, Nina Foxx, Nikkitta, Fayee and Icecini. She will have the basic techniques but can she put them into practice in a real match up. She starts like a whirl wind, all arms and legs, she will never keep this up. Cam observes and is probably thinking the same thing as me …. Lolly needs to pace herself better. Cam does not say anything to her during the match about it, I decide I’ll advise her after. Right now I am happy to conserve, pace myself, let her tire, she is breathing heavy and fatiguing with the score still 0-0. Twenty minutes in and we break for water.
The start to the next exchange is not quite so frantic. I use my half guard well, slowing her down, keeping her in close to avoid her getting any of my limbs isolated. I remove her forearm from my throat and methodically defend, happy with how I am doing. Lolly points out that she is winning because she has been on top more, but the score remains 0-0 and it is pins and submissions that count. Lolly is all arms and legs and she is working hard to try and get me. I can’t fault her commitment. I can’t help thinking if she had not set out at such a pace she could be 3-0 up already. But she tries, tries and tries again and has finally succeeded in getting me in a head scissors. Rolling side on looking into each other’s eyes as she squeezes home the head scissors. I tap. 1-0 to Lolly.
We’ve reached the end of the match and there has been no further scoring. She did really well to avoid conceding an equaliser. She was not defending so much but using attack as the best form of defence. We are taking some great photos, time for me to shower and head for a coffee while she does her second match. Johnny Massive joins me from the pub! Hope he has not been drinking too much as he has to face Sphere tomorrow. Back to MWM, Lolly lost her next match but is happy enough, I mention to her about pacing herself, especially in any one hour matches. She’s a great addition to the MWM team.
Fayee 3-0 Spidey
Opponent number 5 arrives ….. Fayee! We change. Love the golden full leg pants that Fayee is wearing. Posing for photos. Now Fayee is a very respectful and well-mannered young lady but she cannot help breaking into a smile as I continue with my one man wrestler / comedian / commentator / cheer leader routine. I can tell she is getting frustrated but she keeps her cool and smiles and keeps trying to work out a way to get me. My defence is superb, I counter everything she throws at me. This could not last forever. She has pinned me flat on my back, she has a school girl pin on me and I’m stuck. She just looks down at me not sure what to do next. I give her a hint “You are allowed to start counting!”
She smiles and counts very fast to 10! I tell her to slow down and she does the count again. I could not budge. 1-0 to Fayee.
We are covering every inch of the mats as we roll back and forth, rotating, struggling, competing for position. It is one of those surreal situations where we are battling away competitively and having a conversation about general life living in Britain! Fayee gets me in another school girl pin. She has counted to 1 and starts protesting “you are not even trying, you just let me have that point”
I have to explain to her that there is a certain pin position where my arms are so trapped I cannot even start an escape attempt. She feels better, she got the point fair and square. 2-0.
We are coming towards the end of the bout, it has been a long day for me having left Cardiff just before 3am. I’m already looking forward to a great sleep. Fayee has me in a body scissors and it is applied in one of the right places. I tap as soon as she squeezes my ribs. 3-0 to Fayee. We hug and have a cool down before I get a nice warm shower. Fayee and Cam are having a chat at the studio as I say my goodbyes until tomorrow. Off to the pub to meet Johnny Massive. One diet coke and then it is just down the street to the hotel. I had time to check in earlier but had not bothered. Glad they kept my room for me. Lights out, tomorrow is another big day!
I don’t need to be at MWM until noon and so I have had a fabulous sleep before a light breakfast of eggs on toast with some spinach leaves sprinkled on top and a couple of cups of coffee. Johnny Massive went for the full English, he is in a buoyant mood today off for some Christmas shopping in the morning – he’d better be back for his session in the afternoon. I was convinced that Cam was going to hit me with Trouble and Dominix yesterday, I guess I’m in for a couple of heavy defeats today. Walking up the road towards MWM, I text to make sure its ok to knock on the door as there were sessions this morning with other guys. All is good. Knock knock. The door opens and there is Cam and Trouble. Trouble is clearly looking forward to giving me a beating. I notice there is someone hiding at the bottom of the stairs. “Hello” I shout from the top of the staircase. Dominix laughs and looks up at me – she was hoping to surprise me when I went down for the match with Trouble. She comes up the stairs and gives me a hug. The four of us have a good catch up before we head downstairs to start match number 6.
Trouble 20-0 Spidey
Trouble sets off to a flying start and I am under pressure already and we’ve only just started. She is fast and skilled. She gets me with an Ezekiel and I’m tapping as my arm gets wrapped around my own neck. 1-0 to Trouble. Trouble making sure I am ok, I tell her all is well as long as she releases me when I tap everything is good. She tells me not to worry, she’ll release me each time I tap. I’m trying to curl into a ball to stifle her attempts to get a limb but Trouble is able to prize my right arm away from my body and she is rolling onto her back to pull me into an arm bar. I’m tapping out. 2-0 to Trouble. We’re back grappling and Trouble has my back and she is putting on a rear naked choke, methodically pulling my chin up to make room to slide her forearm in. 3-0 to Trouble.
I must admit, she is giving me more recovery between points than usual, normally Trouble is straight back into it as soon as we are back on our knees. Trouble has got me on my front and my face is pressed against the mats, a foot across my back as Trouble pulls my arm up to score with a kimoura. 4-0. Another arm bar 5-0. A triangle 6-0. A gogo plata 7-0. A straight arm lock 8-0. An ankle lock 9-0. An Omni plata 10-0. The points are coming thick and fast and I’m thinking I’ve no chance of matching the record score of only losing 0-40 in the Olympic Decathlon. Trouble has amazing dexterity, she has my right arm held out straight with her right foot, it is almost like her right foot is like another hand in terms of the control she can apply with it. I tap and it is 11-0. Pinned flat on my back but Trouble does not do pins, she wants submissions and now has me in a crucifix. A brilliant move. 12-0. My arm gets trapped between her legs and she straightens it into a straight arm lock for 13-0. Afterwards she talks me through five alternative finishes to the move that she could have used including a wrist lock and a kimoura. I try to resist an arm bar, trying to roll into it but Trouble uses her legs to send me flat on my back and pulls the arm bar home. 14-0. Another triangle and it is 15-0.
Somehow I am fighting off a guillotine, but this can’t last and an arm triangle makes it 16-0. Trouble is flying and is not even bothered about the score she is just focussing on practicing her offence on me. She is lethal, a magnificently skilled athlete and she is choking me out from the front for 17-0. Trouble is improvising to see what moves she can make from first principles, based on the position we are in, how can she make me tap, the answer is very easily as I am stuck with my head sideways on the mats feeling the pain in my neck, tapping out. 18-0. Trouble tells me she does not know what that move was. I tell her where I felt it! An Americana and it is 19-0 and Trouble finishes the match with another arm bar 20-0. Phew. I survived. A bit light headed at the end but a great experience all the same. You can watch athletes like Trouble on video but there is nothing like experiencing what she can do first hand.
Dominix 9-0 Spidey
Dominix is so much stronger and so much more powerful than the first time I sessioned with her. She relishes the opportunity to get guys on the mats and make them submit. The first thing I need to do is get a feel for her strength today. Once we are locked up I need to position myself so that I can resist the holds that she puts me in. It will be very important not to get caught in an awkward position too early. We approach each other on our knees, probing with our hands, Dominix slaps my hands out of the way while maintaining eye contact. I feel her strength as I reposition my hands and she slaps them away again. She grabs for my hands and I keep them apart looking to force her back, but she is too strong, coming forward. I reposition my leg, still facing her but backing off. Dominix lets go of one of my arms and reaches for my neck, pulling me down. She is on top and applies her forearm to my chin, I keep the chin there to protect the throat, but she has worked the forearm onto the throat. I’m tapping out. 1-0 to Dominix.
Dominix keen to check I am ok, all is good and we square up to each other to commence the next round. As we are grappling on the mats, she taunts me about the whole James Bond theme “there is no escape James Bond”, I explain that I am the bad guy and the Bond Girls are beating me up so that they can rescue James Bond. Dominix laughs at the thought of James Bond needing to be rescued by the Bond Girls; genre bending stuff. She has an evil smile on her face as she works me over, turning me onto my front, applying the kimoura, I have to tap. 2-0 to Dominx.
Yikes, what is happening? Dominix has lifted me up clean off the mats and is hanging me upside down! Bonus lift and carry! I look up at her holding my feet with my feet dangling in the air “the things you have to do to empty a guy’s pockets!” Dominix laughs and is suggesting we get a photo in this position later on. She lowers me back onto the mats and steps over me with one leg, kneeling down, pulls my arm, lying back, flicking the other leg over my chest and she has me in an arm bar. She is working the arm bar to get it just in the right position, I resist, but now she has the arm bar on perfectly and I am tapping. 3-0 to Dominix.
We take a break and have a good idea for twitter – Dominix gets me in a rear naked choke and we get a selfie of it which I tweet with the caption “Do you expect me to talk?” and Dominix tweets a reply “No – I expect you to tap!”
Back on the mats for round 4 and Dominix really has got me in a rear naked choke! 4-0!
I may be living the dream but this is a real challenge, trying to defend against an awesome opponent who has strength and skill. Still on our knees, Dominix reaching behind me and straightening her arms, holding her hands together with crossed over wrists – is it a bear hug? Is it a body scissors applied with arms rather than the legs? One thing is for sure, it has me tapping out and it is 5-0 to Dominix.
Dominix is really putting on a master class and made it 6-0 with another rear naked choke, 7-0 with a guillotine and has now worked her legs around my body, one over one arm and one under the other arm to complete a triangle for 8-0, she really squeezed that home.
One final round and I cannot see myself getting a consolation point. Dominix is on top and I am trapped, trying hard to keep her arms away from my throat, but she is too strong and I’m tapping out to a front choke. So it is 9-0 with Dominix gaining her final point with the same move that started the match. An excellent performance and a convincing win for my opponent. She is a dead cert for newcomer of the year when it comes to my review of 2016 later this month.
We have a bit of fun at the end filming ourselves dancing and loading it onto twitter for the masses watching to enjoy. Dominix has another match after defeating me so I am off to join Johnny Massive for a curry in the café.
Icecini 8-0 Spidey
Arriving back at MWM and my next opponent is one of my opponents from The Olympic Decathlon in August; Icecini. She was very strong then and it has not escaped my attention on social media that she has been diligently turning up to the MWM training sessions. She is wearing a silver bikini and has the exact Bond Girl look I want for The Decathlon 007. We lock up, yes, just as I thought, she is just as strong as before. I’m pinned flat on my back, Icecini has my hands planted on the mats so wide apart that I cannot get either shoulder off the mats. I’m not going to make her count to ten, I’m tapping out. 1-0 to Icecini.
I knew she was strong but it looks as though her arms are stronger than my legs which she is pushing wide apart. My groin is stretching and so I have to tap. 2-0. Icecini is telling me that I have good leg flexibility! It was not good enough to avoid submitting when she applied the pressure!
I’m being overpowered and feel helpless against Icecini. Lying flat on my back, she gets to one side of me and places a knee into the side of my hip, pulling one leg with one of her arms and one of my arms with her other hand. It is not quite a bow and arrow hold, but it is certainly stretching my side and I need to tap out. 3-0 to Icecini.
She has my back early in round 4, pulling me to the ground when she could have gone for a full nelson or a rear naked choke. I have landed on my back and she lies across me and applies a straight arm lock. I’m unable to resist the pressure on the elbow joint and tap out. 4-0.
More problems in round 5 as I am pinned flat on my back again, I can’t wriggle out, I can’t shrimp out, I can’t bridge my way out, I’m just plain stuck. The more I struggle the more tired I get. Icecini counts to ten. 5-0.
Pinned down again and Icecini has the full mount position. She rolls onto her side and straightens her legs putting me in a body scissors. Looking into my eyes to see how I am feeling when she squeezes the scissors on. I feel it and tap out. 6-0 to Icecini.
I can’t believe I’m flat on my back again looking up at Icecini who has me in the full mount. She moves up for the school girl pin. I try to push out the back, but she quickly shuffles back and plants her rear on my chest. Back into the full mount and Icecini one again moves up my chest leaving little room for me to move in. Rolling onto her side she gets me in a head scissors. There is no escape once she locks her ankles and squeezes. I tap out before pretty quick. 7-0.
One final round and there is an inevitability that I am going to be tapping out again soon. Its another pin and that ends the match. 8-0 to Icecini.
Sphere 4-0 Spidey
Yes! Its Sphere! I met her at Nikkita’s birthday party and we spent the entire evening sizing each other up and talking about having a match. Well today’s the day, she has done her training with the MWM ladies and is now ready for battle. We take some fun photos before the match starts and tweet these to our fans. She looks stunning and super fit as she warms up.
We start and Sphere is fast, arms and legs everywhere, wow she is going to burn herself out if she does not pace herself. Cam looking across, we are thinking the same thing that Sphere needs the same advice as Lolly about conserving early on in a 60 minute bout. I concentrate on defence, keeping her arms and legs from catching me. On my back, pulling clear, re-engaging, she is determined to make me submit as early as possible. I’m able to use my half guard combined with general strength and size advantage to escape from under her. However, Sphere is a young lady who does not like to be pinned down. She wrestles furiously to unbalance me and make sure I don’t get the full mount position. Half way through the bout, am I going to hold out for 0-0. Not this time, she gets me with a head scissors and I’m tapping out on her thigh. 1-0 to Sphere.
Sphere is relieved to have broken down my defence and have scored a point, taking on water, we are ready to re-engage. She is much more controlled at the start of this second round. She is learning on the job. No instructions from Cam or myself for her to pace herself, she has figured this out for herself. This time, it is sphere’s defence that is impressing as I try to get the full mount on her. I try to get her back but she is facing me again soon enough. She gets one arm and positions her legs across my body, pulling back and applying her whole body to my elbow joint. A good arm bar and I’m submitting. 2-0 to Sphere.
Into round 3 and I’m trying to keep Sphere in my guard as I lie on my back. She comes right through my legs and gets the full mount position. She has some options now. All goes black as her breast bone presses down hard on my nose. Painful. I’m tapping out and it is 3-0 to Sphere.
Closing stages of the match. She has managed to get my back. I am a little too relaxed for my own good, trying to use my hands to push her legs away from my waist. She puts the perfect rear naked choke on me. Surprised. I did not thing she could do that. I tap out. Final score 4-0 to Sphere. I comment that one of the MWM ladies must have shown her the rear naked choke. Sphere replies no it was actually a boxer who showed her that move! That was an excellent match, we embrace and have a nice chat after about what has been happening in the weeks between Nikkitta’s birthday party and now.
Sparkle 8-0 Spidey
So the final match of The Decathlon 007 and my opponent is Sparkle who has now competed in the last 4 decathlon events. She is looking amazingly colourful with purple hair, multi-coloured finger nails and toe nails and a silver bikini top. Some photos and a bit of a warm up and a stretch and we are ready to go. Wow, she is strong and is forcing me to the mats with ease. I’m trying to squirm out, but she sits on me and I’m stuck. She counts to 10 and gets the first point with a school girl pin. 1-0 to Sparkle.
This is a good humoured match and although I am trying, Sparkle is just too strong. She is smiling and making comment on my efforts. She is also quite complimentary telling me that she does not know how I do 10 matches in one weekend. That was gratifying to hear. Soon enough I am pinned flat on my back again and Sparkle has got me with a school girl pin, counting, reaching 8, 9, 10 and I am 2-0 down.
I can tell that Sparkle is one of the athletes who attends MWM training, she has the skill to put me in a variety of holds and it is not going to be all school girl pins today. Like right now she has me in a head scissors and my face is about to go a similar shade of purple to her hair! Best that I tap out. 3-0 to Sparkle.
On our knees facing off again. Sparkle has never beaten me by more than 3 points before. But she will today, there is time enough for her to get plenty more points in this match. Sparkle pins me flat on my back again, lying on top of me, she could opt for a grapevine or a breast smother but she is quite content to hold my wrists down while my arms are spread out wide and pin me flat on my back. No counting the pin this time, I feel a bit of pain in my arms and submit. 4-0 to Sparkle.
I cannot make out if Sparkle is trying to get me in an Americana or a cross body pin or something else. I think she is trying to start moves towards holds just to satisfy herself that she can set up submission attempts of various types if she needs to. However, now she has a chance of a body scissors and she is not going to let this one go, positioning her legs, connecting her feet at the ankles and straightening the legs to squeeze my body tight. I tap out. 5-0 to Sparkle.
Sparkle continues to make good conversation as she puts me through a workout on the mats. She asks me which other athletes I have fought this weekend, I list them off. She is kind enough not to ask me the scores! I’m in her guard and although she is on her back she does not seem too worried about it. She works one leg up to put me almost in a triangle. I tumble onto my side and she gets the other leg onto the other side of my neck for a head scissors. Squeezes home. I’m tapping again. 6-0.
Sparkle has got my back, but I am able to prevent choke moves and manage to pull clear, turning facing her. She is in no hurry to come after me. I move closer and Sparkle takes hold of my arm, pulling me in close. I lose my balance and end up on my side, too slow to get up and I’m pinned down. Another school girl pin counted to 10 and I’m 7-0 down.
My half guard has been ineffective in this match. At the moment I only have one of her feet in the half guard and she escapes easily, planting me on my back once more, lying on top, pressing me flat on my back, grapevine, Sparkle’s ankles are well hooked in and I have to tap for the final time. 8-0 to Sparkle.
I congratulate her on her win with a hug. I get showered while Cam and Sparkle have a chat. We all talk about what we are doing for Christmas. Cam gives us a lift to the station and Sparkle and I get the same train as far as Kings Cross then say our goodbyes. I have dinner before boarding the bus back home to Wales. The final result was Spidey 0-70 The Bond Girls. An excellent weekend. A massive thanks to everyone at MWM especially Cam who made all of the arrangements.