Alfie’s Decathlon – July 2017

The Decathlon 8 “Alfie’s Decathlon”

July 2017


The Decathlon involves doing 10 matches over a two day period.  We intend to make it 5 matches each day just as the decathlon in track and field athletics involves 5 disciplines each day.  The latest decathlon event (this is the eighth one) was a bit unbalanced with 3 matches on Friday and 7 matches on Saturday.  It was all set to be 4 and 6 but one of the athletes for day 1 could not make it and the reserve athlete could only do the Saturday.  So why is this Decathlon called Alfie’s Decathlon?  What is the theme?  What is this all about?  Well Alfie is the cat who pretty much runs the pub around the corner from MWM.  Right now you are all thinking that I am really running out of ideas for these decathlon events.  We’ve plenty of good ideas for decathlon events; we have still to do an oil decathlon, a cage decathlon, a costumed superhero decathlon, and there are many more ideas.  The fact is that Alfie is a superstar and we are delighted to this decathlon event in his honour and lunch at his pub is definitely on the agenda.


0430 alarm goes off, shower, grab my kit, taxi to station and onto the 0512 to London, couple of cups of coffee on the train while on route to London.  Into Paddington before 0800 so sitting down to do a bit of work before heading up to MWM for the 1030 start.  Perfect timing, Cam arrives as I walk up to MWM, we go for another coffee (Cam has a cup of tea), and then enter the studio with Sparkle who is my first opponent.


Sparkle 3-0 Spider-Mouth

Sparkle is wearing a very bright colourful costume and so wear the most colourful pair of shorts I have with me and a t shirt.  Sparkle’ scores against me are usually lower than the other athletes’ scores so this was a match I targeted to try and hold out for 0-0.  At the same time, I am trying to pace myself with another 9 matches to do.  Sparkle is strong and is quickly on top looking for grapevine, pin and smother moves.  I struggle beneath while we keep up a conversation about holiday destinations which was prompted by an expedia advert on the big TV above us (random).  Sparkle soon gets me into position and controls me well allowing her to apply a neck hold.  I really want to hold out for 0-0 but I won’t be able to.  Tapping out.  1-0 to Sparkle.  Battling on.  Escaping from a school girl pin.  Escaping from a grapevine attempt.  Sparkle has my back with plenty of options.  Her legs firing over my shoulders from behind and I’m in a head scissors from behind.  Trying to keep my jaw bone between her thighs rather than my neck.  A quick adjustment and Sparkle squeezes again.  I tap.  2-0 to Sparkle.  It’s been a terrific opener to the decathlon and was rounded off by a smother move to make the score 3-0.  Mid-morning and I’ve not had breakfast yet. Cam, Sparkle and I head down a few doors to a Moroccan café and order omelettes.  I do love this part of Camden.


Alexandress 4-0 Spider-Mouth

Sparkle chats with Cam and myself until my second opponent arrives.  Lot’s to chat about.  Things happening.  Alexandress arriving, slim, smiling, beautiful, lively, this will be the first time I’ve taken her on.  Changed into her one piece bikini, posing for photos, I can’t wait to test her skills and stamina.  On our knees, in each other’s faces, locking up, and we’re down on the mats, rolling around, looking to get into position to take control, laughing, taunting, she protests that I am putting her off, welcome to the Spider-Mouth experience!  Fifteen minutes in, she is doing well and we are really enjoying this, water break.  I offer to show her some moves, her eyes light up, she says yes please.  Showing her the Americana, letting her try and put it on.  Showing her how to do a kimoura, talking her through it.  We also go through the triangle, camel clutch and arm bar, telling her to be careful and not to do the arm bar too suddenly.  Explaining the mechanics of the arm bar to her; how her entire body – arms, back and legs – are working against my elbow joint.  OK – back to the match, let’s see if Alexandress is a quick learner, impressive, she works on an Americana and scores her first point.  She is flexible and able to manoeuvre her legs better than mine and she gets me in a couple of head scissors bringing the score to 3-0.  Back on the mats, she is all over me, I defend well, noticing she is in position to try for a guillotine, I talk her through it, she applies the move and wins the match 4-0.  Finishing off with Alexandress just doing another guillotine to make sure she’s got it right.


Nikkitta 1-0 Spidey

Today is my 16th match with Nikkitta, she is an athlete I’ve drawn with in the past but in recent times the matches have been very one sided in her favour.  She is a power house, hard training, weights and cardio and she has benefitted from MWM training.  This is not a match I am expecting to win or draw.  Nikkitta arrives looking toned and tanned, smiling and talkative as ever.  Changed, some photos taken, tweeted to the masses tuning into the decathlon on twitter, on the mats and ready to riot.  I’m soon on my back, Nikkitta working hard, clenched teeth and eyes closed as she tries to apply a neck hold.  I keep my neck in a position where I am well able to resist.  I keep my chin over her shoulder to allow me to breathe avoiding her smother attempts.  She switches to the grapevine, a good hard grapevine and I’m tapping out early.  1-0 to Nikkitta.  To my surprise she is breathing heavily and I manage to avoid losing any more points, very pleased with my stamina today.  Nikkitta and I have a chat over an iced coffee before she heads for her bus and I check into my hotel.  A nice room in the Corner House Hotel in Camden.  Dinner at a local restaurant and in bed by 11pm, it’s been a long day with an early start.


Bullet 9-0 Spider-Mouth

An early start today, strong black coffee, Hmmm Bullet at 0915, she has beaten me in all 12 of our previous matches and I’ve never scored and single point.  The last session I had before this decathlon event was a 15-0 loss to Bullet.  Bullet is the captain of the MWM team for this event has helped train most of the athletes. Opening to door to let her in.  She changes quick and is eager to start the battle.  I defend with everything I’ve got with some of my best ever defensive grappling.  A full 8 minutes passes and I have managed to stifle her attempts to get me with triangles, Americanas and arm bars.   It was not going to last and she has my neck in an awkward position, neck crank, I tap out, 1-0 to Bullet.  We are both sweating after that.  I’m well pleased I held out so long.  A quick drink of water and we’re back into it.  Bullet gets me with an arm triangle, she is good at these, she gets me with these a lot.  2-0.  A straight arm lock and I’m tapping out early. 3-0.  I manage to get on top, but she has her feet hooked into my shins and I cannot get the full mount position.  Bullet toppling me over.  She is onto me, using her legs to keep my body and legs out of the way as her arms pull my right arm into danger.  Before I know it I am stuck in an arm bar and having to tap.  4-0.  I’m working hard, but Bullet is a pocket rocket and very strong, great muscle definition in her shoulders and upper arms.  She is pushing me flat on the mats, face down, a leg coiled around my right arm helping to anchor the kimoura.  I tap 5-0.  Time for some new tactics, charging straight forward at Bullet at the start of round 6, she is smiling, rolling on her back and simply sweeping me, well I guess plan B did not work.  A straight arm lock and another arm bar have brought the score up to 7-0.  Now I am stuck in an arm triangle again, Bullet squeezes it on tight, I cough and splutter, resist as long as I can but have to tap out. 8-0.  A Thai grip and I am pulled down and then she has quickly tucked her arms in under my neck as I look down on the mats.  Her chest leaning into my back to snuggly secure the guillotine hold.  Bullet gradually rolls backwards, my head going down, neck feeling it more than being choked out, I tap.  The match ends 9-0.  Bullet is happy but little disappointed she did not get me with an Americana.  I don’t think she needs to worry, she got me with everything else.  Bullet gives me a hug before she has to set off for work, her day has started in the best possible way, with a win.


Frida 5-0 Spider-Mouth

Frida arrives, another athlete who I have done 10 or more matches with.  I manage to use my half guard to good effect, she is not frustrated though, she is smiling and confident that the point will come.  This is definitely a match I’ve targeted to get a draw or even a win in.  I’ve taken a point off Frida before so if I can do so again and defend well … stuff that she’s just got my right leg in a grapevine, she does not even need to make it a full grapevine and lets the left leg go, the pain is growing and I have to tap out.  1-0 to Frida.  I beat my chest like King Kong at the start of round 2, Frida grabs my shoulders to pull me in towards her so she can get me in a hold, I am trying to crawl clear but she gets my back and secures me in her guard from behind.  It’s a rear naked choke and I’m not going to be able to prevent it.  Tap. 2-0.  She is very strong today, it is definitely that she is strong rather than me being weak, judging by the other matches.  I’m pinned flat on my back, she has the arm span to pin my arms flat out wide on the mats and she hooks her legs in for the grapevine.  Trying to twist my body sideways to help the legs escape, one unhooks, but the other is trapped in a half grapevine and I have to tap.  3-0.  Frida refers to the pin grapevine combination as her octopus grapevine.  I put up a good struggle in the fourth, we cover a lot of the mats with me occasionally on top and some side on grappling, but once Frida gets on top I’m in trouble, she sees the opening for the Americana and switches the pin to a cross body pin to allow both of her arms to work on my right arm.  Levering my elbow up, she completes the Americana, I tap out.  4-0.  Frida’s legs close to scissoring my neck from behind but I palm her knees outwards and get my head clear of danger.  I am trying to deprive of recovery between exchanges by locking up again immediately, going after her, trying to get her back.  She is matching everything I’ve got, meeting every challenge and working into a better position for her.  She has captured my waist.  So far her scissors have not been effective, but this time she squeezes in just the right place and I have to tap.  The match ends 5-0 to Frida.  Helping her up, big hug, great match.


Lunch with Alfie

Cam, Frida and I make our way to Alfie’s pub and order drinks and pizza.  Alfie is lazing on one of the tables, looks like he had a late night last night.  Cam and Frida give him some attention.  He loves it.  Our pizzas arrive and we tuck in.  Really good pizzas.  Alfie struts around the pub surveying the tables approvingly.  How utterly proper.




Dominix 10-0 Spider-Mouth

I’m in a bit of trouble now, my next opponent is Dominix, who was new to the scene in 2016 and who has gone from strength to strength, trained hard and kicked ass.  She greets me with a hug, my ribs survive … just.  While Dominix is getting changed I am warming up downstairs on the mats.  Dominix comes bounding down the stairs with a crazed look on her face like she is going to tear me limb from limb and enjoy every minute of it.  Cam comes down the stairs in a more refined and elegant manner to take some pre-match photos.  Let the onslaught begin!  I am almost curling into a ball to keep my limbs away from Dominix.  She gets my back, her legs scissoring my right arm while her arms get my left arm.  She uses her four limbs to stretch my arms out and back crucifix fashion and I tap out.  1-0.  Dominix is in theatrical mood today, taunting me, clearly enjoying a particularly dominant performance.  A rear naked choke, a head scissors and a triangle bring the score to 4-0.  I’m in survival mode, not so much trying to avoid submitting, but avoiding the worst types of submission.  Dominix gets me in a cradle position and taunts me as she looks down seeing the fear in my eyes as I nervously laugh at the situation I’m in.  On goes a neck crank and it’s 5-0.  Another rear naked choke makes it 6-0.  I end up sprawled on my front and she sits on my back pulling my chin up – it is not a camel clutch because my arms are not trapped by her knees, but still I need to tap out. 7-0. I can see Dominix pulling on a figure 4 head scissors and I tap out before it gets too severe. 8-0.  She completes the rout with another triangle and a head scissors from behind.  She pulls me too my feet after the match, grabs me around the waist and lifts me in the air letting out a shout of victory.  I can’t believe how much energy she still has left and she is already asking me when we are going to have our next match.  Wow!


Samurai 7 – 0 Spider-Mouth

It’s always great when one athlete can wait until the next athlete arrives. Dominix, Samurai, Cam and I have a great catch up.  I get a quick shower leaving the three ladies to talk, then Samurai gets changed.  She emerges from the shower room looking very fit, her quad muscles are perfect for head scissoring guys!  Down stairs, warm up, on our knees and it’s on.  Samurai is not quite as fast as usual and that gives me more time to work out my defence.  I managed to avoid her triangle attempts as we roll from wall to pillar and back into the centre of the ring.  I can tell Samurai likes it when I try to defend, it is more of a challenge for her than if some beached whale of a guy was just lying there.  I’m a perfect physical specimen on the other hand (well actually I can’t back that up).  Samurai methodically dismantles my defences, I try to use my hands to avoid being head scissored, I try and keep an arm in between her ankles but Samurai remove sit and squeezes on the head scissors 1-0.  I can’t believe it … she has got me in another head scissors, this time lying side on, she is looking into my eyes telling me I am going purple, I tell her I’m feeling fine, she squeezes a little harder, OK it’s time to tap out.  2-0.  Samurai may be fighting at a controlled pace today but her strength is undeniable.  Sitting on my back side with Samurai in full mount position.  She pulls my neck up towards her with one arm and pushed my other arm down to the mats for an upside down kimoura. 3-0.  A forearm pressed to my throat makes it 4-0 and a rear naked choke makes it 5-0.  Trying to avoid being planted on my back, I roll onto my side, but again Samurai has the answer as she applied a side guillotine.  6-0.  Time for one more round, I give it my all to hold out as long as possible, but Samurai is in great form today, getting my right arm, a quick spin round and she has my arm between her legs and on goes the arm bar, I’m tapping out one more time.  7-0.  We embrace after and Samurai tells me it is always great to have a match with me.


Unnamed Opponent A 6-0 Spider-Mouth

In my previous decathlon events, I’ve been able to show photos of most of my opponents or at least use their stage names.  This has been great for publicising the events, doing posters etc.  However, there are some athletes out there in this scene who do not wish to be identified at all.  This includes some athletes who used to session openly but now do it secretly for their own reasons.  It’s great to do the posters, the comics etc, but it’s a shame to exclude some great athletes from Decathlon events.  I know I can do single sessions with them any time as long as it is all very discrete.  What the heck, I looked at all the options with Cam and there was one such athlete in particular who I wanted in the 10 and another who was on my reserve list.  With one athlete not being able to make it, the second anonymous member of the decathlon team was called into the squad.  I’m really glad she could make it, because we did not hear 100% that the original opponent could not make it until this morning (Saturday).  So Anonymous Athlete A?  Have I sessioned with her before?  Has she openly done sessions before?  I’m saying nothing either way.  Just this simple match report on my 6-0 loss.  She gets me in a school girl pin after 10 minutes, but forgets to count so I remind her to and after she has reached 10 I am telling her she is 1-0 up because pins count as well as submissions.  She is stretched across my chest with both arms working on my right arm.  One hand pulling the upper arm up and the other pushing the forearm down, classic straight arm lock.  2-0.  She gets me in a grapevine for 3-0.  I joke that one day when I die, I will be in a Y-shaped coffin and as the funeral procession passes down the street, people will see the Y-shaped coffin and say – yes that’s Spider-Mouth and that’s how he would have wanted to go – in a grapevine!  The fourth point is interesting, it is an arm choke triangle except I am facing down towards the mats with my opponent on my back strangling me with my own right arm pulled around my neck.  A nice bit of improvisation.  4-0.  She completes the 6-0 win with an Americana and a front choke.  She had a great chat with Cam afterwards and actually stayed to watch the last two matches and join us for dinner in the Turkish Restaurant opposite.

dominix and samurai

Bellatrix 10-0 Spider-Mouth

A star is born!  Bellatrix arrives and changes into a leopard print one piece bikini.  Cam advises me that this is her first competitive match.  She seems a little nervous but eager to learn.  As soon as the match starts I feel her strength as she forces me to the mats.  I mean, she is way stronger than she looks in her photographs.  She goes straight for the grapevine and I’m tapping out already.  1-0.  I tell her that the grapevine is my favourite.  Bad move, she gets me with three more grapevines during the match!  She realises she has the edge and wants her win to be for real and tells me straight not to go easy on her.  I don’t think she realises I was giving 100% because I was hoping to hold out for 0-0.  The next point comes from a head scissors and let me tell you she has a vice like head scissors.  I ask her if she does any other sports because she is very strong?  She says she doesn’t.  I ask if she does strength work at the gym?  That is also a negative?  Maybe she is a dancer?  Nope.  OK I ask if she works on a farm pitching hay bales up into the loft.  She does not do that either.  I guess Bellatrix has been blessed with natural strength that the rest of us have to train for!  She gets me with another two head scissors in between the four grapevines with the other points coming from a reverse head scissors and a pair of rear naked chokes.  I really don’t know what just hit me.  A 10-0 crushing from a newbie.  I highly recommend her to you guys out there especially if you like head scissors!  Bellatrix got changed and looked like a regular person again as she left the studio.  I wonder if anyone seeing her walking down the street has any idea that she is a lethal weapon?


Unnamed Opponent B 4-1 Spider-Mouth

The final match of the day and indeed the final match of the decathlon is against a second anonymous opponent.  I’m really grateful she could make it because she heard she was one about 3 hours before the match!  She has kit to wrestle in and is very cheerful as we warm up.  I’m pleased with my stamina and fitness as I manage to keep the match under control for the first 10 minutes or so with no score on either side.  It’s a good work out. Eventually she gets me with a head scissors. 1-0 to my opponent.  We are back tussling after a break to drink some water.  I pin her on her back and ask her how she likes her view of the ceiling.  She smiles and taps her right hand on the mats saying I can have this point.  Great, in the tenth and final match I score a point, maybe I can hold out for a draw.  My opponent made and converted hr opportunities to complete the 4-1 win with a half grapevine, a second head scissors and a rear naked choke.  Myself, Cam and the two athletes who must remain anonymous had a chat afterwards.  I got showered.  My final opponent left but opponent number 8 stayed with Cam and myself for dinner.  I had lamb shish, it was excellent.  It was soon time for me to dash for my train and Cam to lock up at the studio.  I caught the last train back to Wales arriving home at half past midnight, I slept like a log.  A huge thank you to Cam for organising this event and to my ten opponents, it was a top couple of days.






Bullet. session review by Spidey. June 2017

Bullet 15-0 Spider-Mouth

I looked at my work schedule for the remainder of June, realised I needed my weekends for work and that the middle weekend of June would be my only chance to get a session in this month.  I’ve managed to do at least one session per month since January 2012 and did not want to break this sequence now.  So Cam set me with Bullet for Friday 16th – yes Friday night is fight night.  Dashed out of work, train to London, actually got a pile of work done on the train and in a café at Kings Cross before dandering up to MWM in Camden.  I was 5 mins away when I got a text from Cam saying Bullet was already there – wow 15 mins early she must be keen to kick my ass!  Tonight would be my 12th match against Bullet.  In the previous 11 matches my scores have ranged from a 03 defeat to a 0-21 defeat.  In total Bullet has scored 106 points against me in 11 matches so far and I’ve not scored any points.  Well at least on average I’ve kept her under double figures per match.  I’m going to have a real go tonight!

Arriving to find Cam and Bullet chatting away, Bullet already changed into sports bra and gym shorts ready for action.  I get a shower as I’ve had a bit of a journey in the heat today then change into my kit, all blue today, downstairs and warming up.  Ready to go, we tap hands and it’s on.  I keep up a stream of verbal taunting trying to put Bullet off but she soon has me on my back telling me if this was a cage fight I’d be in trouble.  I struggled to get out from under her, trying to push myself up only to be firmly pushed back down on the mats.  She sits on my chest, takes an arm and tells me that I know what is coming next, yes I do know it will be an arm bar but I’m simply not able to stop it, tapping out 1-0 down already.

Bullet is strong tonight, I try to pull my arm out of an Americana but Bullet makes it 2-0.  I spend a lot of time on my back, but at least Bullet comments that I am energetic tonight, putting up a good struggle, but she methodically positions me, lying on my side and she pulls my right arm up towards the ceiling getting me with a straight arm lock – 3-0.  A neck crank and it is 4-0.  A film of sweat appears on Bullet’s back, I’m making her work a bit for these points but she is happy to break down my defences bit by bit and pushes my head in between her legs, rolling onto her front trapping me in a reverse triangle – 5-0.

I had said to her that I watched one of her recent opponents on video escaping her arm triangle so I was going to see if I could do the same thing.  No chance.  She had my arm and neck firmly in her triangle hold with no room for me to move them, tapping out 6-0.  A kimura, another arm bar and another Americana take the score to 9-0 before she got me with a side-on guillotine to make it double figures.

Bullet was pinning me down and rotating over me, looking for my back, and when I was stifling her attempts to get my back she was quick to find other options.  She got me with a combination of a north-south / alligator choke / arm triangle all in the same move to make it 11-0.  I was having to use my half guard spider defence but she was excellent and simply digging her free foot in between my legs and sweeping them apart so she could escape.  Soon she was 12-0 up with a mounted kimoura and then a straight arm lock from mount made it 13-0.  I tried to escape an Americana by connecting my two hands around the back of her head, but she was too strong and completed a hat trick of Americanas to make it 14-0.  The last round was quite exciting as I managed to finally roll on top, but it took all my strength and I never had a stable base so my position of dominance did not last long.  Toppling over, she got me with the move she wanted to get at some point during the match which was the rear naked choke.  She got me in her guard from behind and slipped her forearm under my chin using the other arm, to pull the choke move in for the point.  I tapped out.  Final score 15-0.

Bullet showered followed by me and we had a great chat with Cam and Dave before they had to leave.  Bullet and I walked back to the tube station and were on the tube together as far as Kings Cross where I had to change lines.  Good train journey home.  I’ll be back on the mats with Bullet again in the Decathlon 8 at MWM.  A big report on that will be coming at the end of July.  Big thanks to Bullet today for a great match and thanks to Cam for making all of the arrangements.

Dominx and Frida – review by Spidey


In May I was back at MWM doing what I do best; losing!  This time my opponents were Dominix and Frida.  Dominx and I were on first, she is looking very tanned and athletic these days and the strength and the skill are still there as she gave me an 8-0 pasting.  She kept up a dominant stream of trash talking as she got me with a straight arm lock, a couple of triangles, an Americana, a neck hold, a guillotine, a kimoura and an arm bar.  I was on defence mode the whole match and don’t think I got on top at all unless I was in her guard.

I had a 30 minute break before Frida arrived.  Frida got me with a couple of head scissiors, a body scissors, a knee lock, a grapevine, body scissors, breast smother and a rear naked choke.  She was doing a lot of taunting as well throughout the match, really putting me in my place.  She is very strong these days, but what impressed me most was the variety of holds she got me with.  I’ve been able to resist her scissors before but not today.


It was lovely to see Cam as well, thanks for arranging the sessions.

My losing streak is growing!

Empress session review by Spidey (March 2017)

empress2Empress has been on my hit list since before Christmas and I was delighted to have my first session with her last week.  She’s lovely.  As soon as she arrived, she was very well dressed, well mannered, lovely European accent, a very presentable young lady.  We got changed into our gear and had some pre match photos taken before the session began.  She is very light and petite at 48kg so I did the session as a light semi-competitive one.  What I mean by that is I adjusted my own skill level and intensity so as it would be a good even match with myself having to escape from some moves.  This is much more enjoyable for me than winning comfortably by going all out – I just don’t see the point in that.  We started on our knees and I spent the first 20 minutes or so escaping from Empress’s smother attempts, neck holds, scissors and pin attempts.  It was a good humoured workout.  I managed to get on top and taunted her about her having a good view of the ceiling.  One of the good things about taking on a new opponent is I can use all my old jokes in my comedy wrestling routine because she has not heard them before.


As the match went on I was beginning to tire until she managed to get me with a breast smother and I had to tap.  She cheated a bit tickling me to put me off my defence before she got the second point.  She doubled the score with the same move.  Throughout the match the television had been playing music videos and after one of the water breaks we just started dancing for a full 10 minutes.  Empress can certainly move.  She’s a good liar as well; she said I was a good dancer.  It was great fun, something different, but she definitely won the dance off.  Back on the mats for another round and I think the dance off had taken it out of me as I was tiring fast.  Empress was chasing after me trying to put holds on as though the match had only just started.


After the next water break, I asked her if she wanted me to show her some moves.  She agreed and I showed her how to do an Americana, a camel clutch, an arm bar and a triangle.  I also showed her a scissors escape if she ever needed it and a grapevine.  After she tried these moves out, she was keen to see if she could do them on me in a match so we wrestled on.  I was on top and she hooked her legs round my ankles for a grapevine which usually does not work from below.  I was just about to mention that this was not such a good option from below when she applied it to the full and I did actually have to submit.  Lucky I kept my mouth shut!  3-0.  She then got me with a body scissors, I did talk her through it a bit once she applied the move, just to make sure she was straightening her legs for maximum effect.  4-0.  Her head scissors was done without any coaching, she had me pinned down and managed to keep close to my body to avoid me escaping out the back and then rolled onto her side, straightening her legs either side of my neck.  5-0.  That was the end result, I gave he a hug and congratulated her on her win.  We had a chat before she had to leave.  She’s a definite for the decathlon squad in August.  I had a nice cup of coffee and a chat with Cam after as well.  Always good to catch up.  Looking forward to returning in April for a mini event.


Samurai – session review by Spidey (February 2017)


The journey to London was really good and I arrived in Camden early enough for a coffee and I got a good 45 mins work done on the computer.  Text from Cam saying she had arrived at the studio.  I made the short walk from the café and Cam greeted me with a hug.  A good chat.  Samurai arrived, wearing very nice perfume and looking particularly radiant today.  I took a quick shower and changed into my red gi and Spiderman mask for the pre-match photos.  Samurai then used the bathroom to change, emerging wearing a turquoise sports bra with black pants.  She is looking nicely toned, she has definitely been working her upper body and her legs are as strong looking as ever.  So we went downstairs to the basement arena and Cam took some photos of us pre-match which I later tweeted to all my fans!

The first round had everything, Samurai was straight in with a Thai grip around the back of my neck.  I stayed up right then tried to roll backwards and put her in my guard, but only managed half guard.  At least Samurai did not have the full mount.  I pressed my hand to the mats and forced myself up off my back and on top of Samurai.  A vigorous effort from Samurai and she was back on top.   Samurai was laughing because I was using my half guard in desperation knowing what she can do if she gets full mount.  She gradually worked her leg out of the half guard.  Samurai was smiling with gritted teeth, determined as she looked down on me, having fun with the challenge of breaking down my defence.  She eventually gets me on my side and has my neck.  I’m trying to capture her waist but can’t hook the leg round as she rotates away from my legs on the mats.  We must have done at least four full 360 degree rotations on the mats before she got my back.  She fires each leg in turn over my shoulders from behind.  Her hands grab my chin, pulling it up as her legs press my shoulders down.  I tap out before my head comes off!  1-0 to Samurai.  Samurai falls flat on her back at the end of the round to recover, great I’ve made her work for it.  Maybe I’ll get some late points if she tires any more.

Ready for round 2, Samurai is quickly on top and I’m struggling to remove her forearms from my throat and the side of my neck as she keeps applying them.  I’ve survived the onslaught but Samurai rolls me into a body scissors which I manage to resist stubbornly.  The next problem is trying to prevent the triangle, but I can only delay it by keeping my arms above her legs.  She soon gets the opening and gets her right leg over my left shoulder.  She squeezes home the triangle across my upper body and neck and shoulder blade and I have to tap.  2-0 to Samurai.  More signs of fatigue from my opponent as she takes on water at the end of the round.

However, after recovering, Samurai springs back up onto her knees and makes an energetic start to round 3.  I’m soon on my back and holding her arms away from me to avoid her grabbing my neck and going for a breast smother.  She tries to work her legs up my body, planting the occasional heel near my ear, looking to roll into a triangle but I have my arms tight around her mid-section in a bear hug to stop her getting either leg over one of my shoulders.  Samurai elects to go for a guillotine.  I manage to prevent the first attempt stopping her hands from connecting beneath my chin.  However she gets the guillotine back on and I tap out.  3-0 to Samurai at the halfway point.

Into round 4 and I manage to get on top and get the full mount position.  I roll over onto my back so Samurai is caught in my body scissors.  She digs her elbows into my thighs and my legs part and she escapes.  I manage to roll on top again claiming “I’m winning! I’m winning!” Samurai laughing and saying I am putting her off.  We tussle on the mats until we agree to take a break before continuing the round.  We re-engage and Samurai vigorously tries to capitalise on the dominant position she is in.  I defend well to prevent her getting in position for a triangle but she was very quick to swing side on and pull my left arm into an arm bar.  I tapped real quick as she got the move on very effectively.  4-0 to Samurai.

Time for one final exchange and I went all out to get a consolation point but Samurai was not going to let that happen.  This time she gets me in a head scissors.  I have one arm in trying to force her legs apart but Samurai is determined to close this out.  I try to get her legs on my jaw rather than my neck but she has placed them perfectly, squeezing hard, looking into my eyes to see the effect her head scissors has on me as she squeezes it home.  I submit one final time and it is a 5-0 win for Samurai.  We give each other a big hug and thank each other for a great workout.  Big thanks to Samurai and Cam for another great day at MWM.

Review of session with Sphere by Spidey (January 2017)

It’s Friday the 13th Part 7! The alarm goes off at 0530, light on, clothes on, grab the bag I packed last night, lights off, out the front door, drive to the coach station, park, board the 0615 to London, back to sleep, 1000 wake up, arrived in Victoria Coach Station, full English breakfast with refill coffee in Frankie and Benny’s, underground to Caledonia Road, walk to MWM, arrive early.

Cam and I go for a coffee because Sparkle is doing a session this morning.  Great catch up.  We head into the gym and Sphere has arrived, Sparkle is still there, glad she could wait to say hello.  We all wish each other a happy new year.  I take a quick shower and change into my gear.  Sphere is already down stairs on the mats warming up in tracksuit.  She invites me to join her.  Sitting facing me she reaches for my hands and places her feet against my inner legs, pulls me towards her as she leans back.  I’m not so flexible, I’m just about vertical and my hamstrings are feeling it.  Sphere saying I should be feeling it in my groin area, I can’t say that I am.  I now pull her towards me and she is able to bend down much further, not quite getting her head on the mats, she is telling me that she was able to do that a few years ago, whatever, she is way more flexible than me.


Cam takes some pre-match photographs while I still have my gi on.  Warm up done. Gi and mask off.  Ready for action.  On our knees.  Moving closer, locking up, it’s on.  Sphere is pushing hard and I am holding my ground.  Decide to take us to the mats.  Sphere is pacing herself much better than in December.  I’m having to use my half guard already.  Need to stop Sphere getting the full mount position.  Rolling side on.  I think we are fully warmed up now!  My half guard is losing its grip against Sphere’s shiny gym bottoms.  She has escaped and now I’m in trouble, she is fast and flexible and has my back.  Trying to tuck my chin in, but it is too late, her right forearm slides in across my throat.  Tapping out to the rear naked choke and it is 1-0 to Sphere.

We get ready for round 2, Sphere still trying to reassure me “I’m still a beginner!”.  Well she soon has me on my back and hooks her feet in, my legs being forced wide.  This is my favourite move to be on the receiving end of!  I’m completely stuck.  Ooooomph, Sphere combining the grapevine with a breast smother.  Turning my head sideways so I can breathe.  My legs are well and truly stretched out in a Y shape and I’m submitting.  2-0 to Sphere.


Locked up on our knees, feeling stable and in control.  Sphere asking my advice on take downs.  I suggest not always pushing but sometimes as the opponent pushes, push back then suddenly move to the side letting them fall flat on their front and then get on top.  She is a fast learner, I land flat on my face!  Quickly turning round.  On my back, looking up at Sphere, her face concentrated, looking for the option.  She has me in full mount.  I’m shrimping back on the mats to try and escape.  Sphere plants my wrists wide of my head.  Her right knee moves over my left arm, her left knee moving over my right arm.  This is my chance to escape before she tries a head scissors.  If I can push her behind over my head, I can escape out underneath her and end but behind her.  Foiled.  Sphere places both hands behind my neck, pulling my head in tight so I cannot escape while still in her full mount.  Rolling onto her side, he legs straighten, tightening on the sides of my neck.  Darkness closing in from the edges.  I tap out quick!  3-0 to Sphere.


Getting up on my knees to the sound of Shpere asking “are you alright? Are you alright? Your face went purple!”  I give my shoulders and upper body a good shake, get the circulation going back to my head “yes I’m fine, I’ve never really felt this good before!” must be the euphoria of the near death experience!   Sphere making sure I’m ok.  It’s all good, we start round 4.  On my back again, she is trying another grapevine but I have my legs up in the air doing the dead beetle defence.  She has my neck, left arm round the back of my neck.  Her right forearm on my throat, pressing in, I have to submit.  Cough. Splutt.  It’s 4-0 to Sphere.  I guess I’m going to lose this match.

We are soon back in it, tussling on the mats, keeping us warm, jockeying for position.  Funnily enough, we’ve managed to avoid going anywhere near the walls and pillars all fight, it’s a spacious wrestling area, but we are energetically battling it out on the mats.  Sphere almost gets my back, I go into hedgehog defence mode.  Sphere is methodically dismantling my hedgehog defence and I have to palm her arms away from my throat.  Toppled onto my side.  Sphere is on top again.  I cannot tell you what this move is but it is hurting my right arm.  I am like flat on my back underneath.  I’ve got the half guard defence on but she has pushed my right arm straight above my head and twisted.  I’m feeling it in the shoulder and tap out.  5-0 to Sphere.

Whatever that move was it was effective but Sphere is turning into a bit of a perfectionist.  “Oh I’m disappointed!  I wanted to get you with something more spectacular!”  Time for one more round.  Sphere has already beaten her score of 4-0 in December but she’s not stopping at that.  Her elbow pressed against my throat as I’m on my back again.  I need both hands to remove it.  But she has the front choke back on again.  Submitting.  A very solid 6-0 win for Sphere.


Warming down, Sphere asking me to show her some more moves. I suggest “How about escaping from a body scissors.  Decent guys don’t go for a girl’s ribs using scissors, but if they do just tap, you don’t need broken ribs.  Alternatively, try this escape move”.  We set up with Sphere on her knees and me on my back with legs around her waist.  Instructing her to dig her elbows into my thighs.  My legs part like the Red Sea!

Next I show her how to do a triangle on me, a guillotine and an arm triangle choke.  Getting up from having my own right arm wrapped around my neck, I show Sphere how to do an Americana.  Making sure she is lying across me.  Her right elbow to the side of my head, palm of her right hand on my right wrist.  OK, telling her to slip her left under my upper right arm and place the palm of her left hand on her right forearm.  “OK – do this slowly, bring your left forearm up, keeping my body down with your chest.  Ouch, she got that right, feeling it in the shoulder.  Explaining to Sphere the mechanics of how the Americana works.  We have a laugh about an incident in my local gym where I ordered an Americana instead of an Americano – almost blowing my cover there!


I show her another move, the arm bar.  Then I explain the best defence against the arm bar which is rolling into it and connecting arms so as the trapped arm is not pulled straight.  Then up on her knees to prize herself clear.  Sphere asks me if she can try something and without any coaching from me gets me in a pretty good knee bar.  I try to show her how to also do an ankle lock but I don’t really know it and so suggest she asks the trainer about it at the next training session.

We change, nice chat with Cam, we give each other a hug and Sphere is on her way.  Thanks for a great session.  Cam messages me the photos she too so I can use them in my comics.  We say our goodbyes until February.  Thanks Cam for making all of the arrangements.  The journey home is good, plenty of work done on the bus on some documents I had printed out, getting home and in the door early evening.


Review of sessions with Sphere and Frida (December 2016)

These were my third and fourth sessions.  My previous to sessions were both with Frida and I enjoyed them so much that I had to do session number 3 with her too.  But I decided to try a second opponent, a new girl Sphere.  Frida was in great form having demolished Spider earlier in the afternoon.  I felt I had a really good chance this time because she might be a little tired because I was actually her third opponent of the day.  Well I did not lose by as much as I have in our previous two battles but lose I did 2-0.  Frida was very strong, pinning me on my back in such a way that it took a lot of effort for me to get her off me.  It was a great work out.  She was her usual happy smiling self from start to finish.  When she got me the first time it was a grapevine / breast smother.  It was pretty awesome!  I pulled myself together and tried for the equaliser, but Frida was in control, dominating from the top and she got me with a body scissors for the second point.  I struggled well with Spidey coaching me some escape moves too Frida’s frustration.  I tried to get a consolation point and I have got points off Frida before but it was not to be today.  In fact if I am totally honest about it, I was still having to defend right to the end.


I stayed in London overnight, did some early Christmas shopping and was back to MWM on the Sunday afternoon for match number 2.  This time it was Sphere, a new girl who has had a couple of sessions including a good win over Spidey about an hour before she took me on.  Sphere has been training and I could see she was trying to please Cam by trying to use the moves they have been working on in training.  But she did not get the arm bar against me.  It was a fun tussle, I adjusted my level and intensity to make it a semi competitive match.  Sphere was quite intense in the first five minutes wanting to open the score quickly but she soon settled into a pace she could maintain.  We covered every inch of the mats, rolling back and forth.  It was great fun.  In the end she got me with a rear naked choke and a head scissors from behind.  The next time, I’ll make sure she does not get my back!  A big thank you to Cam for fitting me on a very busy December weekend at the MWM venue.  I love the basement / cellar wrestling area.  Excellent mats as well.